What will they be?

I can remember holding my daughter when she was born. Me not knowing the first thing about raising a child and she so, so small. She she was just over 5 pounds and looked like a skinny little alien at first, but after she plumped out into a cute little thing, I often wondered what kind of person she would turn into. I had two very traumatic and difficult births, so I don't think I really became attached to either of my kids right away. It took a little time to put the trauma behind me and get to know them. I can remember holding my son and really seeing him for the first time and loving him and wondering who he really was.



As toddlers, those personalities definitely started to come out. My daughter was  a fairly early speaker and social to the hilt. She loved people and she loved to ask questions, and even back then I could barely keep up with her needs and her active mind. She needed me, and people in general, all the time. The dress-up and role-playing started. She asserted herself by rejecting the unisex outfits I had selected previously in favor of pink, pink, and more pink. Also, nothing but dresses please.



If Jessi was a typical if rather precocious girl, my son was the typical boy. Trains, trucks, cars, balls. He loved them all. He had to move. He liked to cuddle, but only on his terms. I could see he had a gentle nature but also very particular ideas about things and how they had to be. He was much more discriminating when it came to food, toys, books, games. It HAD to be THIS way. This insistence on things, like what order we all came down the stairs, worried me for a bit. It just seemed rather OCD, and yet on a daily basis I think he and I got along in a much easier way than my daughter and I ever did.

In preschool I finally got a good glimpse of some of the things that would start to define them as people. Jessi showed significant strengths in socializing, reading, writing, memorizing in general, and natural science. She avoided math as much as possible and also talked way too much and too loudly. Noah had significant strengths in math, music and sports of all kinds. He continued to get bent out of shape if the world didn't stop for him to finish a puzzle before "circle time", but these were things we worked on. He still has a very strong sense of justice and right and wrong. Those early trends continue.

 This time of year there are so many young people graduating. Some are graduating high school, and some are graduating college. My husband's twin cousins are graduating college and heading off into the world; one to be a teacher and one to try to make it in the film industry. These are things I never would have guessed for them, and I wonder, what are my kids going to end up being? Here I am trying to give them everything they are going to need in life before sending them off into the world, and I have no idea really what the world will be like in 10 more years. What are they going to need to know? What will they want to be?

In my daughter's case I thought it might be the sciences, but now I think it'll probably be something creative. I could see her wanting some day to be a chef, a costume designer, a song writer, an actress, a playwright, a director, a writer, an artist... she's trying her hand at so many things, I just don't know. She could also be a lawyer, a social worker, a lobbyist or a politician! She could end up using her gift for languages in some capacity. It is so hard to guess.

My son wants to be a soccer player. He's only 9, so I think there is definitely time for that to change, but he really seems to have a natural talent and I could easily see him becoming an athlete, or working in sports somehow. Yet, even though he is shadowed by his older sister, he is a smart kid and he may end up doing something completely different. I see a strength and conviction in him, and a kindness toward others, that could take him far and in so many directions.

Do you ever look at your kids and wonder who these people really are? What kind of creatures you are shaping? Do you ever wonder what contribution they will end up making to the world? These are the thoughts I am having this month while commencement speeches are made and young people full of energy and ideas head out to try to make it on their own. I was there once and someday my kids will be too. It's a scary place, the edge of the cliff, but also one full of promise. I wish these young people all the best of luck in making their dreams come true. I hope they jump off that cliff and glide down in a parachute, or better yet, fly off by whatever means they can devise.