It's so hard to keep balance. Sometimes I think life is really just one big exercise in learning how to balance all the conflicting wants and needs... not just for myself, but also for everyone around me. Since I am the "Activities Coordinator" of our family, it all seems to fall to me.
Every day it seems my daughter says, "Mom, can we_______?". Your can fill in the blank with any number of things, but probably not "clean toilets today". Actually, it's usually, "Mom, when can we______?" (go to the beach, get a cabin in the mountains, go out to California, go see family, have a big party at our house.....). It seems her desires have no limit and she seems to think I can make just about anything happen, which is both flattering and utterly frustrating.
Daily life is about all I can handle. Give me one or two extra things to deal with and I'm maxed out. Here is our general weekly set-up at the moment:
Sundays - religious school (DD- she chose this and I support her right to choose) and outdoor soccer game (DS)
Mondays - 4th Grade Co-op (DS), Spanish lessons (both), indoor soccer (DS)
Tuesdays - Classes at the NC Museum of Natural Sciences, piano lessons, art lessons, and karate Wednesday - (bi-weekly) 9-10 year old Co-op (currently studying Critical Thinking and The Hobbit)(DS), Middleschool Literature Group (DD), 4H (photography and map reading and orienteering), and religious school (DD)
Thursday - community theatre sponsored homeschool acting group (DD) and karate class
Friday - Park Day, random field trips, errands and more soccer, and (pant pant pant)
Saturday - Horseback riding (DD) and soccer AGAIN (DS)
In-between we fit in at-home book learning and homework, playdates, random field trips, mom's time to get some exercise, various appointments, cooking and shopping, and of course meals and sleep. Cleaning might happen, or it might not.
This is me trying to cut back. Really. I dropped several things last year only to pick up a few new ones. I'm also still having to turn down new and exciting things starting up all the time. It really is a marvel that we live somewhere that has so much going on and are part of a homeschool group that is so hopping.
Still, how much is too much? How many social and group activities are a good balance for your family? We tend to do a lot of interactive stuff because my eldest craves it, and although I'm an introvert at heart, I want to take advantage of the opportunities out there. One of the great benefits of homeschooling is being able to do those things. Honestly though, if it were just my son, we'd be home a lot more. It seems like a lot of homeschooling families we know in the area are like us, out there doing things, but I also know families that have one or two activities a week and are home the rest of the time and they are happy with that. Where does your family fall? How do you balance it all?
I know this is unsolicited advice but here goes: In my opinion you have to much going on. The fact that you wrote this post suggests that. I understand that you do all these things to keep your kids (well, mostly your daughter) happy. But it seems that you are struggling to juggle it all. Your running the risk of burnout and that isn't healthy. And if mom isn't healthy, then everything goes to the wayside. Have you tried talking to your daughter and seeing if there are some things she can absolutely live without? Maybe she needs a hobby. Something she can do at home, on her own, that keeps her entertained for a period of time.
ReplyDeleteIn my family we try to keep it to a max of two outside activities per day. Also we take off one complete day a week for catch-up (chores and each other).
Hope everything works out. Best of luck!
May - thanks for the comments. I am complaining a little bit here, but the truth is this is a pretty good set-point for our family. I could possibly take it down a notch (and things do settle over the winter and summer) but for now this seems to be a norm for our family. This is my sixth year homeschooling, so I have learned that too much time at home makes the natives restless, myself included. I've also learned how to multi-task (what mom hasn't?). That said, we also are probably more free-flowing than many families. I use very few curricula and prefer to rely on outside sources for things like music and art. I know we are lucky to be able to afford that, and I know that is not what is comfortable for everyone. Again, I think it is an issue of balancing everyone's particular personalities and needs. Friday is my "down day", but I will be glad when the Fall soccer season is over (though I do get plenty of help from DH on that count)!
ReplyDeleteIn my family, we're home-people. Oh, if I asked my children if they want to go to gymnastics and swimming and a million other things they'd probably say yes, but when I try to convince them to put on their coats and leave the house they say they're busy reading or playing or drawing or whatever. Even inviting friends over is hard for us, because the kids want me to be doing other stuff with them. I read blogs with schedules like the one you just listed and I think... eek... how do you manage. But I know a lot of the homeschoolers I know locally manage with schedules like that. I just couldn't. I think that my schedule is horribly booked up if I have more than two things planned a week.
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