On Late Mornings and NOT being with the program

I'm still not on the ball and feeling with the program so to speak. We are mid-August and still trying to finish up last year's stuff. It makes me feel a little like the white rabbit, perpetually late and never quite up to speed. 

Now let me be clear, I don't have a huge curriculum we do every year. In fact, the sum total of my home curriculum goals last year was the completion of as much Singapore Math as possible and a review using the "What Your _____ Grader Needs to Know" Series... in addition to as much writing and unstructured reading as possible. I had outsourced most everything else. Still, with what little I had wanted to do, we are behind. It's not that I'm fretting about being on grade level or anything, I know that we are ahead in some things and just a tad behind in others, but I had just wanted to try to start September fresh and clean with new books in hand.

The main reason for lack of progress this week is that my son has a soccer camp that starts at 8am. I think one mark of a truly converted homeschooler (with "older" kids - I know that most toddlers like to get up before the sun) is that we don't usually get out of the house very early. I mean, it's a struggle to get somewhere by 10am, really... so this week has been painful. I think I could eventually adjust to getting up at 6am, but my son was NEVER an early riser. The boy still continues to need 10-11 hours of sleep a night. Even in preschool it was painful getting him out of bed in the morning. When I brought him home it was a huge sigh of relief to be able to let him sleep until his body said he had had enough. Even camping, when the rest of us wake up with the sun, Noah is still in bed until I go and tell him he better get up or there will be no breakfast for him. He is a physical guy. He burns a lot of energy, so he really does need to recharge. 

This week, however, we have been slogging to bed around 9 or 10pm (additional 6 or 7 pm activities aren't making this any easier) and I have been shaking him awake around 6:30 so that he can have an hour to blearily choke down some food he's not really awake enough to eat, and get his cleats on. Then we head out for our half hour drive in the morning traffic. On the way we pass the moms and kids at the bus stop waiting to be picked up for their first week of school. 

I see them and send a silent prayer of thanks that we will not be having to do this for the rest of the year like they do, and then think to myself how terribly spoiled we have become. Spoiled for the time being for the world of relentless schedules and endless shuffling around and morning commuter traffic. Even my husband works from home and can mostly make his own schedule. I feel very privileged indeed.

Maybe because of the bus stop, my kids were asking me about school this week. They are a bit curious, and I think all the attention of popular culture makes them wonder if they are missing out on something. My daughter did the school bus thing for a few weeks, and she's pretty much had enough of that, but popular culture has been rearing it's head in the form of dance and pop music and popular movies in our house. My daughter, in particular, is wondering if she should go to high school in a few years. She's redefining herself as a pre-teen and trying to figure out what that means. It's made me re-think the whole issue, and this is what I have come up with... 

In a word... No... they are not missing anything. Yes, if they went to school, they would get to spend all day with other kids their age. That would probably take some pressure off of me and I wouldn't constantly be arranging their social lives. It's entirely possible, though, that they wouldn't really like the other kids their age that they would then be stuck with, and there would be no opportunity to pick and choose, because you are in the class you are in and you gotta deal with whoever is there. In the case of high school, my memory of it is endless shuffling from class to class and not really getting to talk to anyone. The only way I was able to make friends in high school was from extra-curricular activities and who I got to sit with at lunch. My kids have no shortage of "extra-curricular" activities, and get to see the kids they like because we tend to the choose the same activities as those families and make time for each other. I really think they have better long-term friendships than many of the schooling people we know. 

This may not be true everywhere, but in this area at least, there has been a lack of consistency in the schools kids are assigned to, and each year kids get reshuffled, often to another school, but sometimes just to different classes. We have been lucky to find great homeschool and schooling friends of the same age but also be able to interact with kids and adults of all ages. This is a tremendous advantage I think, being able to interact with whole families and not being stuck interacting solely with just kids of one age. There has been a lot written about the benefits of this (a good article with a link to a study is here). Our lives and activities are varied and they get the wider picture, even if they have to deal with just me and themselves sometimes. 

Are they a little bit sad to not be able to see more of their friends this summer? Yes. Are they missing out socially. I really don't think so. We even have homeschool high school dances and social events in the area. Needless to say, I can check social interaction off of my list of things to worry about.

I have been a bit worried about being able to provide all the classes they will need for high school. As with most things, I like to be somewhat prepared for what is to come. If I can't provide what is needed, I have no problem rethinking school. There are any number of online courses and there are local class opportunities, but I wasn't entirely sure it would be enough, given my daughter's reluctance to use the computer for learning for anything other than research. 

Just talking to another mom with a teenager was enough to allay my fears. Here's the truth. The coursework can be done over a number of years in any number of ways. There is nothing that says we couldn't do high school level work starting in seventh or eight grade. The advantage of this is that there is less pressure each year, and if all goes well, we might even be able to take advantage of college courses early at little or no cost. Our state has a dual enrollment program for advanced high schoolers. Also, it seems to me that homeschooling high school is a lot more like college than high school is. You take individual courses, you have choices, you have responsibilities, and it's up to you to get the work done. Also, as my friend pointed out to me, it's entirely too easy to go to high school and not learn a thing. What a waste of a life full of possibilities to get to that point in the system where you are just treading water and biding your time and hating the whole "learning" process! Not that that is necessarily what happens with all kids, but from that perspective, public high school would be a step backwards. I want my kids to be well prepared to take care of themselves. I don't have any desire to be directing their lives past their teens, and when it comes time to start looking at college, I hope they are able to navigate those waters without too much input from me, and build a life that they are happy with and proud of. 

Well, my tired mind has wandered a bit. At the end of the week we will all get a good snooze and get back to catching up with schoolwork and fun at home. We'll all still be in bed when that school bus comes by... and thank goodness! It's still August for heaven's sake! Maybe we'll harvest something from our new garden, or set up a playdate or two, or learn how to make Japaneese onigiri. Piano, Spanish and art lessons will be starting in a couple of weeks, and we'll be able to do that in the afternoon while everyone else is still in school. This Fall we will be taking in some science classes at the state science museum in downtown Raleigh, and my daughter will be auditioning for some acting experiences. Sports will take up our evenings as will 4H and any number of other things that come up. 

I may not always be with the program, but maybe that's not such a bad thing.